God is Good

The past eight days have been some of the hardest of my parenting life. It's really a long story and so I will try to concise the situation.

Last Wednesday, Taylor (and some fellow students) were moved up into an older class. Due to her being so well behaved and potty trained she went straight to the 'older three's'. Starting Thursday, afternoon, in the hallway of daycare, my sweet, Taylor disappeared and an ugly, defiant, out of control toddler appeared. This being stayed until Tuesday afternoon. To summarize Taylor's behavior: she kicked, she screamed, she talked back (tone I've never heard come from her), she threw items at the wall, at us. She refused to sleep in her bed or room (she slept in the hallway). We tried time outs, spanking, reasoning only to make the temper worse. I heard from her "don't talk to me that way, don't you hit me, hush, you are not my best friend, get out," At night she would scream for me but when I appeared she would yell, "get out." Every morning, as soon as her eyes opened, she would scream about going to school. She didn't to go to school. Attitude you don't expect to come from a three year old. Tantrums that could be heard down the street and that lasted for hours. I didn't know what had happened. I honestly thought she had turned herself into a brat. She doesn't handle change well and I blamed it on the classroom switch. She just wasn't taking it well.

This went on all weekend, and most of the day... not just spurts. By Tuesday, I basically remained in tears all day. I felt hopeless as a parent. My child was out of control. I didn't know what to do or how to make her stop. Nothing was working. It wasn't until I got to school at 3:30 pm to see Taylor sitting in her teachers lap crying that I knew something was wrong. It was a turning point. T had basically cried off and on all day. I started telling the teacher what was going on at home. She then informed me that there was a child in the class with that same behavior during school hours. Again, long story short. There was alittle girl in Taylor's glass, that no one could control. She bit (kids, teachers even directors), kicked, threw chairs, talked back, screamed, cried... constantly during school hours. She had never done anything directly to Taylor. But she was picking up on this hostility plus the classroom environment wasn't stable. They spent all day arguing with this one child. The behavior and phrases Taylor was using at home was identical to this child's behavior. I left Tuesday with a much better understanding. My baby girl wasn't a brat! She was confused, upset of her environment and testing her limits. I immediatly started talking with her about this girl and the behavior. I went to the director and told her my concerns and the impact is was having on Taylor. That night I was much more patient, as I laid down beside Taylor on her floor to put her to sleep. My daughter was scared of her world. It wasn't just a fit. The next day (wed), Taylor had a great day! Thursday, she again had a great day! She's now sleeping in her bed again without mommy or daddy's help, talking more politely than she was before and having her normal fits. The director stopped me yesterday to inform me that the child had been dismissed on Thursday. Apparently, the child was supsended on Wednesday, which hence the reason Taylor had a good day.. The director said the atmosphere in the classroom was completely different. She gave the girl one last chance on Thursday but the girl acted out and they called her parents for good. She won't be coming back. As sad as it is for that little girl and her family, I have never been so relieved.

I struggled this week. I struggled with the fact that you can't shelter your children from all the bad in the world. When she gets to public school, there will be bad behavior, bullies, etc. But what I kept reminding myself is that there would still be some order of control. THe behavior this child exhibited would not be tolerated in a public classroom. It was an unsafe enviroment physically and emotionally. I prayed on my knees this week that God would take care of this situation or tell me what I needed to do. I had found an alternative daycare down the street that had openings, Adam mentioned just me staying home. None were ideal but we knew our child could not stay in that environment. We were giving it to Friday and our prayers were answered yesterday! God is GOOD! I pray that as Taylor gets older, she won't be as impressionable. That other behaviors around her don't influence her the way they do now. But this week was a learning experience for all of us.

On a MUCH lighter note. Some children have immaginary friends. I had several growing up. Well Taylor has an immaginary GRANDMA! Yup. It's quite funny. The past months,she talks all about grandma, and things she did at grandmas, and ate, etc. I think it stemmed from playing at school with someone who must have a grandma. At first we thought she was referring to one of her real grandma's (cici, Grammy). But finally one day, I asked her a question with a concrete answer, "Taylor, what color hair does grandma have?" Without missing a beat, she leaned her head and said, "Grandma doesn't have hair." There you go, a bald grandma! To add to the story, we were at McDonalds (I think) in Lexington meeting Cici this week. We were parked out towards the back. Taylor says, "Momma, grandma lives there" and points out to the left. I look out my window to where she is pointing .... the Wingate Inn. Hilarious! She was serious too. Bald Grandma living at the Wingate Inn! Who would have thought?!